~*You Can Call Me Selfish*~ An AJ story

Once you got back onto the bus, you went staright for a bed and went to sleep. Nick, Brian, and AJ did the same. About 1-2 hours later you woke up to screaming. "Damn Nick! Quite cheating" You heard AJ scream as you brushed your hair and climbed out of the bunk. Just as they turned the video game off. "Oh, hey *****, have a nice nap?" Nick asked as he grabbed a soda and threw it at ya. "Uhhh, what time is it?" You asked as you sat down on the couch. "About 8:30am" AJ replied as he grabbed a pepsi and sat on the floor. "Oh." Was all you said as you looked at Nick back to AJ. ~!1 Hour Later!~ You were sitting in the entertainment room, alone and Nick and Brian were sleeping. The you heard a knock on the door. "Mind if I join you?" You heard AJ ask. "Sure." You said as you shrugged your shoulders. AJ sat down beside you and both of you continued to watch 'Friends'. The episode where Ross comes back from China with whats her name. You both watched, and when it was over you guys just talked, about numerous things. You realized you and AJ have a lot in common. You talked from things like, whats your favorite hobbies, to favorite foods, color and movies, stuff like that. AJ's not what he actually presented himself out to be the first day you met him. He's actually....a gentleman. Then the all time question came up..."So, are you seeing anybody?" He asked playing with the end of his shirt. "Actually, I'm single..." You said looking a bit nervous. "Thats cool, me too." He said as he looked into your eyes. You just smiled and turned your head. "AJ, I know what your thinking, and I..I cant..." You said as a tear rolled down your cheek. "***, yes thats what I'm thinking, and yes it'll work, we're on tour together and we'll never be apart, I mean, dont you like me?" AJ asked sounding kinda hurt. "Its not that AJ, I really do like you, its just, about 5 years ago, I fell deeply in love with my high school sweetheart, Jason, and about, 2 months later, he changed for the worst, he started hitting me, verbally assulting me, calling me a bitch, a whore and spreading rumors that I was 'easy' and a lesbian. Of course they listened to him, cuz who would'nt, being the captin of the soccar and b-ball teams, I was just a softball player." You took a deep breath before continuing, the hardest part was yet to come..."3 months after all that, I told him I didn't wanna see him anymore, we were out in the middle of nowhere by the way, he started screaming at me, and he pulled out a knife and cut my arm (Showing him the scar on your right arm underneath your elbow) then he pushed me out of the car and rapped me..." You finished as you continued to cry. "He...he...just left me there, about 2 hours away from anywhere. 4 weeks later I found out I was pregnant and then I was forced to get an abortion by my parents. 2 months later they caught him and 2 weeks after that he got out of jail, and murdered another girl who didn't wanna go out with him, she was only 15!" That was it you just lost it! "And...I.....I...havent even flirted or trusted a guy since that happend." You said as AJ pulled you into a hug. "I know your hurting, but you cant go through your life thinking, 'what if I gave AJ a shot'. Incase you didn't know, I'm not no where near being like Jason." AJ finished as you looked up at him. "I..I...I know! Ok? I know! I just cant!" You said as you got up and ran out of the E. room to your bunk.
Chapter 4
That night was the opening evening for the concert. Your were nervous, excitied and scared all mixed together. You've been ignoring AJ the rest of the afternoon. He has been staring at you every now and then. And when he was about to say something to you, you'd either walk away or start talking to somebody else. Well, it was almost 8:00pm and their opening act, Krystal was finishing her last song, 'Super Girl' as you all got into a circle to do the before concert routine. "BACKSTREET!! What time is it? Its tiiiiiime for me to go to work yallllll, what kind of work? HARD WORK! UGH!" After you all finished, the music for 'Everyone' began to play as you all ran on stage to do your thang! About 2 hours later, the show was done and everyone was exhasted! You were the first one back on the bus, so you went ahead and took a quick shower, you then got out and went to watch a movie. About 15 minutes later, the buses pulled out, and the guys were on, they took their showers than AJ and Brian came back to watch a movie with you. "So, what are we watching?" Brian asked as he sat beside you and AJ sat on your other side, trying not to make you uncomfortable. "Save The Last Dance... but I'm sleepy, so bye!" You said as you got up and went to your bunk. "I wonder whats up with her?" Brian asked looking towards the door. "I love this movie!" AJ said turning the volume up louder. "AJ....what's going on with you two?" Brian asked turning the movie down and glaring, not mean, but glaring at AJ. "I dunno, if she wants anyone to know, but I kinda wanted , and still want to go out with her, but she wont, Brian, I really, really, REALLY like the girl, you and the other guys know I've never felt this way before, and so fast, I'm just really into her." AJ said looking very upset. "Hey, I can try and talk to her, and see whats up, if you want..." Brian asked. "Ok, if you want to." AJ said leaning back. "Sure." Brian said as he got up to go find you. As he left the entertainment room, he saw you sitting on the couch reading 'Chicken Soup; For The Soul II'. "Hey ****, mind if I sit with you?" Brian asked, you just nodded your head as he sat beside you. "So, I'll just get to the point, AJ, REALLY likes you, and he really wants to date you, whats the prob bob?" Brian asked looking into your sad sea-green eyes. "Its...just, well, if I tell you this dont tell anyone, AJ already knows..." Brian nodded his head and you went on telling him the WHOLE story. You just felt like you could trust Brian. After you told Brian, you started crying..again. "I really like AJ, I just dont wanna get hurt again." You finished as Brian hugged you. "You dont have to rush anything, but I've known AJ since he was about 15, and he would never raise a hand to a woman, or even think about rapping them. He's a good guy, with a bad boy image." Brian said as you looked up and gave him a weak smile. "Hey, my wife, Leighanne is joining the tour tomarrow with us in South Carolina, she never spends time with any females, she's always around me and the guys. If you wanna talk, she'll listen, and you two should go shopping or something, to get your mind off of things, ok?" Brian asked you you nodded and managed a 'ok', then went to your bunk.
Chapter 5
Well, the next morning you woke up, took a shower, got dressed and walked to the front of the bus. "We'll be at the motel in less than 10 minutes." The driver announced to everyone as he stopped at a red light. About 5-10 minutes later everyone arrived at the motel. Your bus was the second bus to arrive there. You all waited for your room numbers and headed up stairs. You had room 550A that your sharing with Julia. You walked into the room, seeing Julia already upacking. "Hey J, do you know how long we're staying here?" You asked sitting your stuff on the other available bed. "It suppose to be a week, cuz the guys have like a million interviews and shit to do....." Julia said trailing off. "I'm going down to the pool, and you know we dont have a show tonight." You nodded. "Ok, well, I'll see ya later, and the other key is on the TV." Julia said before she shut the door. You decided you'd unpack, and then watch some TV. Then call your mom and tell her how your doing. About 15 minutes into your packing, there was a knock at your door. You opened it and saw Brian with a beautiful blonde standing next to him. "Hey *****, this is Leighanne, I'm dumping her with you cuz, I gotta get to sound check for the talk show we're doing tonight. Leighanne, I'll see you later." Brian said as he kissed her and ran down the hall. "Hey Leighanne, come on in." You said opening the door wider to let her in. "Thanks, *****. Well, Brian I think was in a hurry." She said with a laugh. "I think so." You agreeded smiling. You decided to put your packing on hold and talk with Leighanne. You guys talked about everything from music, to sports, to fashion to hair to bootys, lol. Then she commented on what you knew was comming. "Brian told me about you and AJ, and I'm sorry. But if you ever need to talk to anybody, I'll be here and I'll listen." Leighanne said, you just smiled. "I really do like him, its just, my past with guys have really sucked and I dont know who to trust, and I dunno if I can really trust AJ. I want too, but its hard." You said as a tear rolled down your face. "I've known AJ, for a long ass time now. And he is one of the most sweetest, caring heartfelt, sexy, nice guys I've ever met. Not like my husband you see." Leighanne said as you just laughed. "Wait till AJ hears you called him sexy, his ego will flip!" You said as Leighanne started laughing. "I know! Oh boy, do I know." Leighanne said smiling. "But..." You started, "I just dont know, I do like him. But what if I get hurt again?" You asked her. "What do you mean...'Again."? Leighanne asked, then you told her everything. "Man *****, thats ruff, but dont you think AJ deserves a chance, even a tiny one. He would never hurt a girl that way. Not even if his life depened on it. He doesn't play that. Trust me, AJ is the last person who would do that, or even let someone do that to you, if you were his, ya know....." Leighanne said making a pity face. You just looked so sad. You dont know what to think. Your emotions are just so over wealming right now. "Listen, everyone's going clubbing tonight. And, I was, well, everyone was wondering if you wanna come, we're gonna leave at around 9. After the guys get back from the show their doing. So, you in?" Leighanne asked. You just shook your head and she smiled. ~8:30pm~ You decided to get dressed, and meet everyone in the lobby. You decided on wearing tight black capris, a black tube top with sparkles on it, and black plat forms. You did your make-up, hair in a simple twist and grabbed your purse to head downstairs. Once you got downstairs, you saw, AJ, Leighanne, Brian, Kristen, Kevin, Nick, his girlfriend Jasmine, Howie, Sabina (His gal pal), and they all had weird looks on their faces, lol. When they saw you, everyone started clapping. Cept AJ. "Its about damn time woman!" Brian exclaimed. "Gee Brian, think you can say it a little louder, I dont think Japan heard you!" You exclaimed walking to the group, eveyone started laughing. Cuz Brian WAS loud. You all walked out of the motel to the two vans waiting for ya, got in and headed to the clubs. The first club yall attended was called 'ROCK ON'. Everyone got out of thier vans and went inside, you all found tables and sat down. Well everyone wanted to dance, so you and AJ sat down. The next song that came on was "Peaches and Cream" (LOL, Danielle, lol.) by 112. "Hey ****, I know you probably dont wanna dance, but girl, this is my song!" AJ exclaimed standing up, you smiled and took his hand, and walked out to the dance floor.

So hot hot
It's the S, the L, the I, the M
Let me tell you what I wanna do
Let me show you
that I'm feelin you
Wanna sex wanna ride with you
Wanna taste
Wanna put my lips
all over you
Can't get enough of you
Always a kid for you
So sweet, so very wet
So good, girl you
Make me sweat
Girl I'm talkin' 'bout

You and AJ, you freak dancing and I mean FREAK dancing. Everyone around you just stopped to watch. This song is da' bomb to dance with, and AJ thought about every word the song said, and he thought about you

Peaches and cream
I need it cuz you know
That I'm a fiend
Getting freaky in my
Bently limousine
It's even better when
its with ice cream
know what i mean
Peaches and cream

Through the next parts of the song, you both were lost in each other, enjoying the feeling of one another. Till the best part came on.

Won't stop girl you know
I can't get enough
Wanna taste it in the morning
When I'm waking up
I ease cobbler in my stomache
When I eat it up
Get your leg around my neck
So I cant get up
See the boys 112
We from the A'
When it comes
To eating peaches
Shorty we dont play
So all ladies in da house
If you know your peach da shit
Put your hands in da air
Represent your clique

A little while later, the song ended, and another one came on. It was AJ's favorite song of ALL time Love Songs if he had to pick called "I Lost my Heart when I found you" by Shania Twain. AJ pulled you close as you swayed to the music.

Kiss me all over is all I can say
I've waited a life time to feel this way
You leave me breathless
And out of my mind
I'm just so helpless
So baby be kind

I lost my heart
When I found you
Yeah, it feels so good
To lose
I lost my heart
When I found you
I lost my heart to you

You touched me in places
Deep in my heart
Imagination runs wild in the dark
Babe I surrender
Only to you
I cant remember
How it feels to be blue

I lost my heart
When i found you
Yeah, it feels so good
To lose
I lost my heart
When I found you
I lost my herat, to you

You leave me breathless
And out of my mind
I'm just so helpless
So baby be kind.....

As the song went on, you both were caught in the moment. "*****, would you like to sit outside, and talk?" AJ asked. You smiled and replied "I'd like that." AJ took your hand and led you out.
Chapter 6
When you and AJ got outside, you both found a bench under a streetlight and AJ began to speak. "*****, I know you dont like me the way I like you, or somethin like that...but I cant help the way I feel about you. I really think we should give 'us' a chance, it could work. I'm not like your ex, I'm totally opposite, I really think we could work. So, what do you say?" AJ asked, you looked at the ground, trembeling, not sure what to say. "I....I dont know." You said looking up at AJ and a tear rolled down your cheek. Then AJ started to sing. "I'm never gonna say goodbye--'Cause I never wanna see you cry--I swore to you my love would remain--And I'd swear it all over again, I--I'm NEVER gonna treat you bad--'Cause I never wanna see YOU sad--I swear I'll share your JOY and PAIN--And I'd swear it all over again." AJ finished singing "Swear It Again" by Westlife. You sat there speechless that he sang to you. You looked into his beautiful brown eyes and simply replied "Yes, I wanna give US a try too." You smiled. ~!2 Weeks Later!~ LA California~! You and AJ were still going strong, NEVER apart. You guys did everything together. And he's a very good kisser I might add, lol. Everyone was right, AJ was not and never will be like Jason, and that was a GOOD thing of course. Well, everyone had the day off, the Backstreet Boys just got finished rehursing for the Grammys. So, you, AJ, Leighanne and Brian decided to do something. YOu became real close with Leighanne and Bri. Their so easy to get along with:) You guys decided to go to a new club in LA, called "The Red Dragon". But Brian and Leighanne backed out, they wanted to go to see 'American Pie II' instead of a club. So it was just you and AJ since everyone else was busy. You guys snuck out, cuz you didn't want a HUGE B.Gaurd following yall the entire time, lol. You guys got to the club and sat down. "Baby, you want a drink?" AJ asked as he pulled your chair out for you. (AWE, hehehe) "Uhhh, ok, how about a Starwberry daquire?" You asked sitting down. "Alrighty, be right back sweetie." Aj said as he kissed you and ran to the bar. A few minutes later some bad smeeling asshole came over and sat at your table. "A sweet thang, hows abouts a daaaaance, wit ma!" he asked smiling showing his bad teeth. "Sorry, I think I'll pass...." You replied looking around. "Ohhhh, you thooughts thats wases a question, its wases mores like a command, now for disrespecting me, your commings homes with me!" The ugly guys said standing up and pulling you up with him. "GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!!" You screamed as he pulled on you. Just then, AJ was walking back with te drinks. "Bab.....WTF??? Get your FUCKING DIRTY HANDS OFF OF HER BEFORE I KICK YOUR UGLY ASS!!!!!" As yelled as he slammed the drinks on the table. "She's my fucking bitch now, go the fuck away." The man said kind of calmy. AJ walked up to him and said "She's not a bitch." Then he punched the man in the face and you both walked away. You just could not stop crying, that guy looked awfully familiar. "Sweetie, are you ok?" AJ asked as he started the car. "I'll be ok, it was just scary....so scary." You said shaking your head slowly. "Baby, I know. And I should'nt have left you by yourself in a weird place. Its all my fault." AJ said not wanting to look at you. "No its not, you were being a gentleman getting me a drink. AJ its just, why did he do that?" You asked with your tear-stained cheeks. AJ pulled over and looked at you. "I truly dont know, I just dont know." You both were silent for about 5 minutes untill AJ spoke those three little words, that all you wanted to heard right then. "I love You ****** ~~~~~~~~."
Chapter 7
You paused for a second with tears, happy tears in your eyes before you answered. "I love You too Alex." Then you both shared a sweet kiss. The ride home was silent. You both were just thinking and holding hands. But your thoughts kept flying back to that jerk at the club. He looked just like, ya know...but he could'nt be him...could he? ~!3 Months Later!~ Yours and AJ's relationship was still growing strong. You guys were all in Howie's motel room, just chillin watching Titanic. Ok, heres the lowdown. The guys' 'others' are not with them cuz they got other stuff there doing, so the only couple there is you and AJ. In the middle of the movie, where they JUST hit the ice burg, you and AJ were all touchy touchy and giggeling. And the guys were making mean noises. "OH Brian, hold me closer, ohhhhhhh." Nick joked moving in Brian's direction. "Oh Nick, thats it, mmmmmm." Brian joked along with Nick. "You all are a bunch of assholes, your just jealous!" You said looking around the room. "OH, what jealous of AJ, puhleeeaaaseee!" Brian said in a gay man's voice. "Baby, you wanna go out on the roof?" AJ asked looking at you. "Sure." You said getting off his lap and walking towrds the door. "Thank the lord! They are leaving!! They make me siiiiiiiick!" Kevin said leaning back. "Shut-up!!" AJ and you both said as you shut the door. ~!The Next night!~ "Are you sure you dont wanna come?" AJ asked as you sat down on your bed in your motel room. "I'm sure, I dont feel too great, why dont you and the guys go, have a great time and tell me about it tomarrow." You said with a smile on your face before you coughed. "Maybe I should chill wit you and keep you company, I dont want you to be..." AJ was cut off by you. "Alex, shut your mouth and leave, I'm just gonna go to sleep anyways. Have a good time!" You said with a mean but calm look on your face. "Ooooo, ok, I'll b back around 11 or 12, ok?" AJ said standing up. "OK, by sweetie." You said as AJ kissed your forehead and said I love you and left. You layed down and fell asleep. ~!Two days later, Dallas, TX!~ "What the hell is this AJ?!" You asked as you stormed into the backstreet boys' soundcheck. "What are you talking about baby?" AJ asked walking down to where you were, crying like crazy. You just threw the paper at him and backed up. "Ho....how could you fucking do this to me??" You said with your eyes extremely red and you turned around and walked away. WTF?? AJ thought, he flipped the paper over and read:
AJ McLean with mystery lady...
AJ McLean of the world famous Backstreet Boys was spotted in a local club scene in Memphis, TN, a coupld nights ago with a tall red head. Name not known yet. Picture shown at the right, rather close to AJ, who is suppose to be in a relationship, a serious one with back-up dancer ***** ~~~~~, AJ's partner also. But she was no where to be found. The question here is, is the rebel of the Backstreet Boys really living up to his name now, or is it he just likes to make out with girls he does not know that is not his girlfriend? Picture bottom left. You tell us....what do you think of AJ's behavior. Write to us at.....

AJ threw the paper on the ground and went to look for you, he HAD to explain. Even if he had to MAKE you listen. He looked everywhere, till he found you in the dancers dressing room, alone crying. AJ walked in. "We need to talk." AJ said stepping closer to you. "There's nothing to talk about AJ. You cheated on me and I actually believed you when you said you'd never hurt me." Updated 5/14 You said backing into a wall. "I didn't kiss her, I swear, I love you *****, I love you so much." AJ said with tears welling in his eyes. "Well, if you love me as much as you say you do, then you wouldn't hurt me like you did." You said as you passed AJ and left. ~~~3 Months Later~~~ Everyone had a month off before the next leg of the tour started. You were at your new appratment, south of the dance studio in Orlando. You were still upset about AJ and you havent talked to him. As you were cleaning the livingroom, there was a knock at your door, you went to answer it, but only found an vanilla envolope on the floor. You picked it up and went inside to open it. Inside was a letter from AJ and tape.
Dear ******,
I know you hate me right now. But I've been misserably without you. I cant eat, sleep or do anything, I miss you so much baby. You dont understand how much I need you right now. Please listen to this song I wrote for you, and then you can decide if I can really explain everything to you, ok? Kev's playing the piano, Howie is playing the guitar and Nick and Brian are singing backround vocals. I hope you like it.

~Love~
AJ

You out the tape in and listened to the words.

It's 7am, thinking bout you
Wonderin if the thoughts I'm feelin, your feelin too
Like a new born child, soft to the touch
Baby is it possible to love somone so much

I wish, I may, I wish I might
Be that certain someone, you wish for every night

If you knew what I knew, you would'nt say what you say
If you knew what I knew we'd be together instead
Of you breaking my heart
Over things that arent true
My lady yes, if you knew what I knew

Tiiiiime passes by, the only tears I cry
Are filled with disillusion and fears I have inside
Like a lost soul, I feel like I'm all alone
If only I could feel your pain, within your heart of stone

I wish I may, I wish I might
Be that certain someone you wish for every night

If you knew what I knew, you wouldn't say what you say
If you knew what I knew, we'd be together instead
Of you breaking my heart, over things that arent true
My lady yes, if you knew what I knew

Then you wouldn't have to go away
If you knew what I knew
Then you would be here to stay right by my side for always

If you knew what I knew you wouldn't say what you say
If you knew what I knew we'd be together instead
Of you breaking my heart over things that arent true
My lady yes, if you knew what I knew

If you knew what I knew my baby, you would never have said what you said
If you knew what I knew my baby, we'd be together instead

You couldn't believe what you just heard. You decided you would call AJ and see if he wanted to talk, like right now.
Chapter 8
Right before you picked the phone up it rang. "Hello?" You said. "*****." You heard Brian say on the other end. "Hey Rok, whats wrong?" You asked. "There's been an accident..." He said trailing off. "What do you mean and 'accident' Brian?" You asked as calmly as you could. "AJ, he was comming back from your place after dropping that envolope off and, a car ran a red light and ran into him, he's in the hospital, St.Vicents, and the Doctors are saying he might not make it." Brian said. You were in shock. "I'll be right there..." You said as you hung up and grabbed your keys to leave. About 15 minutes later you arrived at the Emergency end of the hospital and you saw Nick, Brian, Leighanne, Kristen, Kevin, Howie, and Denise all sitting around in the waiting room. Your eyes were just red and puffy from all the crying. "How....how is he?" You asked still crying. "Not...good....not good at all." Denise managed to say through her tears for her only son and child. "I want too see him." You said strong and determind. "They wont let anyone see him." Howie said standing up. "DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A SHIT? I SAID I WANT TO SEE HIM!! Now, what room is he in?" You asked calmly. "20B." Replied Nick, as you walked down the hall. "You opened the door and saw AJ lying on the bed with a tube down him arm and a tube down his throut helping his breathing. A bruised cheek, broken left leg and a sprained left arm was minor his internal injuries. You gave a weak smile and sat next to him. "Hey sweetie, not doin so good I guess. You know what...I really do love you, ya know? I've never felt this way about any man before. You just got me hooked from day one. Its just, when I saw that picture of you kissing that girl. It really hurt. But I really should've let you explain. Oh yeah, I talked to Brian and he said you were wasted. But I should've believe you first off. And I heard that song you wrote for me, and I love it. It was so beautiful." You said as tear flew freely down your face. "Just like you." You heard a weak voice say. You looked up and whispered "Alex?" "Hey sweetie, I'm glad you liked my song. I meant every word ya know, and I really do love you too." You saw AJ open his eyes after he said that. "I loved the song. But not as much as I love you." You said as you bent down to kiss him. ~!2Hours Later!~ Everyone is in the waiting room while the doctors still checked AJ out. Denise was in the room with him while the doctors did the doctor thing, lol. About 1 hour later, Denise had to leave to fly to LA to check out a new singer she was managing. Everyone is in AJ's room, just chillin. "We postponed the tour till your healed so, no worries." Kevin said from his seat across AJ's room. Everyone talked a little till they decided to leave, except you. "So, I'm really sorry, about freaking out, its just, I didn't know what to think and I over reacted. The truth is, I missed you sooooooo much." You said looking down at your man. "Dont be sorry, I would've acted the same way...but seriously, look at you, yor sooo pale and skinny, have you lost weight?" AJ asked. "I...I just havent been hungry, I'm ok." You said as you smiled. AJ looked sorta not believeing that, but he was gonna go along with it, for now...
Chapter 9
About a month and a half later, AJ was out of the hospital and everyone is at the rehursals for the 2cond leg of the Backstreet Boys Black and Blue tour. "C'mon *****, pick it up!" Fatima yelled while everyone continued to dance to 'The Call'. You looked extremly pale, very skinny and out of breath, which is'nt like you at all. When Nick's part came on, you stopped dancing all together. And you just stood there. So did AJ. "Baby, you ok?" He asked. "I...*Heavey Breathing*dont...feel...too.....good...." As soon as you finished the word 'good' you completly passed out. ~!At the Hospital!~ All the guys, Fatima, most of the dancers sat in the waiting room....waiting. And they've been waiting for an hour already. "Damnit!" AJ exclaimed stnading up. "Fuck this shit, I'm tired of waiting!" AJ said as he walked over to the Nurses' station. "I wanna know how ***** ~~~~~~~ is doing?" AJ asked looking tired and worried about you. The Nurse just stared at AJ and then said "The Doctor will be with you shortly, have a seat Mr. Mclean." The Nurse smiled, AJ flicked her off and sat down. About 10 mintes later, a Doctor FINALLY came out. "Hello, my name is Doctor Smith, and I'm *****'s doctor. Miss ~~~~~~ passed out because of lack of food in her system and her blood sugar is and will be for a while extremly low. According to my chart, she hasent been eating anything but Celery and plain bread for a few weeks, I suppose now. She wont tell us WHY she's not eating, but we need to know so we can get her the right kind of help she needs." Doctor Smith finished explaining. "Can...can I see her?" AJ asked a little shocked. The Doctor shook his head and AJ walked down the hall to your room. When he walked inside, he saw you lying there with a tube in your arm, feeding you. He weakly smiled and walked up to your bed and sat next to you. He grabbed your hand and you opened your eyes. "Hey Baby." AJ said as he kissed your forehead. "Hey." You said as you gave him your best smile you could give at the time.
"You ok?" AJ asked as he gave you a concered look.
"Yeah, I'm cool." You replied
"Sweetie, why havent you been eating?" AJ asked looking scared for both of you.
You looked at AJ's expression and decided to explain.
"About 2 weeks before your accident, I was extremly depressed about us. And I didn't eat a whole lot. Just enough to satisfy me. Well, I went to the grocery store, and I was looking at some popsicles, cuz I wanted some...I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned around and saw a little boy, 10 or 11 I guess ..." You took a deep breath and a tear rolled down your cheek. "And he said to my face, 'Man your fat' and walked off." You finished as the tears flew freely down your face.
"Are you serious? *You shake you head* Baby your anything BUT fat. , you were as skinny as Sandra Bullock, your favorite actress of course and now you weigh 98lbs the Doc told me. Sweetie, I cant believe you would listen to a little brat.." AJ said. "Then why would he say it if it werent ture?" You asked with tear stained cheeks. "He's just mad cuz he couldn't have my baby." AJ said giving you a kiss. You smiled, then it faded. "I'm sorry....." You said.
Chapter 10
"For what?" AJ asked, his voice full of concern. "For eveything, we missed out on so much, just because I didn't let you explain, its all my fault, you dont need me AJ, I just am so depressed everything is so fucked up!" You yelled, crying histerically. "Baby, its ok, I love you and its not your fault. I'm here now. All that shit is in the passed. And it wont happen again, ok?" AJ asked. You weakly smiled and replied, "Ok." "And as soon as you get outta here, we are gonna go to Howie's club and partay, alright?" AJ asked brushing your hair out of your face. You smiled and nodded. ~*Two Days Later*~ You got out of the hospital, and of course AJ never left your side. The doctor just told you no dancing for 2 weeks, and you'll be ok, as long as you ate. You and AJ decided on going to a cliff, like a make-out spot and chill, look at the view and stuff. just to get away from everything and talk. Once you guys got there, you just listened to the radio for a while, when AJ asked. "I like this song, do you want to dance?" "I'd love too." You said getting out of his car and walking in front of it. While the song played, you were lost in AJ's eyes.
Remember the first day when I saw your face
remember the first day when you smiled at me
you stepped to me and you said to me
I was the woman you dreamed about
remember the first day when you called my house
remember the first day when you took me out
we had butterflies although we tried to hide
and we both had a beautiful night

The way we held each others hand
the way we talked the way we laughed
it felt so good to find true love
I knew right then and there you were the one

I know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
when he stares at me you know that he cares for me
you see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause its obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts
and he's missing me if he's not kissing me
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

Remember the first day, the first day we kissed
remember the first day we had an argument
we apologized and then we compromised
and we haven't argued since
remember the first day we stopped playing games
remember the first day you fell in love with me
it felt so good for you to say those words
cause I felt the same way too

The way we held each others hand
the way we talked the way we laughed
it felt so good to fall in love
and I knew right then and there you were the one

I know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
when he stares at me you know that he cares for me
you see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause its obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts
and he's missing me if he's not kissing me
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

i'm so happy so happy that you're in my life
and baby now that you're a part of me
you showed me
showed me the meaning of true love
and i know he loves me

I know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
when he stares at me you know that he cares for me
you see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause its obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts
and he's missing me if he's not kissing me
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

He looks at me and his brown eyes tell his soul

You looked deep into AJ's brown eyes and said. "AJ, I love you." AJ replied. "I love you too ***." You both smiled and kissed. "That song is beautiful." You said walking back to the passengers side of the car. "Not as beautiful as you are." AJ replied. You smiled. "Are you hungry?" AJ asked. "Not re....I mean yep!" You said, AJ gave you a really serious look, then you chnged your answer to yes, lol. "Where do you wanna go?" He asked backing up. "How about Mcdonalds?" You asked. AJ's face lit up. "YOu kow I love you. You read my mind, *laughs*" AJ replied. "I knew you wanted to go there. I love this song!" You added turning up the radio to O-Town's new song 'We fit together.' "Yeah, its a good song." AJ responded bobbing his head back and forth. You laughed silently to yourself and sang along to the music.
Chapter 11
The next afternoon, you were at home...alone, cleaning. The guys were all at the studio writing and recording a new song. While you were cleaning the coffee table the phone rang. "Heeeellllo?" You asked. "I can see you bitch. You may have left me, but you'll be mine again, if I have to kill your sweet boyfriend to get to you...." The line went dead. You just stood there, shaking and confused. You glanced around your house scared out of your mind! You then heard a song start to play. But your radio was not on. The song was I cant help falling in love with you...by Elvis. Jason, Jason, JASON! Thats the name you could only think of. That was yours and Jason's song. After the first chorus, your nightmare came to life. Jason apeared in the hallway, you couldnt move you just stood there. "I told you I'd be back, didn't I sweetie?" Jason said walking closer. Everything seemed to go by in slow motion. You saw something blue in Jason's left hand, then everything went black.

About 1 hour later AJ tried for the 50 time calling you, worried sick. He tried ur beeper, home phone and cell. Nothing. "Guys I'm worried, she said she would be home all day, whats going on?" AJ asked. Before he recieved a answer, his phone rang. "Hello?" "Mr. McLean, your girlfriend is ***** ~~~~~~~, is that correct?" Someone said on the other end of the phone. "Ummm, yes, is she ok? Aj asked as he tensed up. "No, some girl found her in a alley off of 5th ave, she was raped, beat up pretty badly, and shot 3 times, once in her right leg, once in her left arm and once just below her stomache, she is in a coma and she is at Orlando Medical center. Please come down sir." He heard the nurse say. "I...I'll be right there." AJ choked out, he jumped up and ran out of the studio, leaving everyone bewildered. On the car ride to the hospital, so many emotions were going through AJ. He was hurt, mad, confused, and sad. Who could do this to her? Why would anyone want to do this to her? Were just two of the many questions flying through his head. About 15 minutes later AJ arrived at the hospital. He parked his car and ran inside. "*Out of breathe* I'm looking for ***** ~~~~'s room." AJ said. "Ummm, yes, she was just brought in about 30 minutes ago, have a seat and I'll page her doctor." The nurse smiled and AJ walked to the waiting area. About 60 seconds later a Doctor appeared. "Mr. McLean?" The doc asked. AJ stood up and raced towrds the doc. "Miss. ~~~~~ hasnet changed at all since we called you, you may see her. But I have to warn you about not just her appearence but, she could be in that coma for months.And her appearence is....judge for yourself." The doc said showing AJ to ****'s room and opening the door for him. AJ gasped at the door shut, tears rolled down his face and he sat next to you.AJ didn't know what to say or do. So he did what he does best...he started singing;

Fire, smoke, bad joke
That's what my life's been turned into
Hurt, cry, pray to die
That's all that I've got left to do

Without you
Everytime someone speaks your name
I feel my heart go up in flames
Without you
Nobody's here to see me cry
Or wipe the teardrops from my eyes
Without you
I'm the only one I've got left
And I can't live with myself
Without you, oh without you

Guilt, shame, I'm to blame
For all the pain I put you through
Cold, stoned, mind blown
There's nothin' left for me to lose

Without you
Everytime someone speaks your name
I feel my heart go up in flames
Without you
Nobody's here to see me cry
Or wipe the teardrops from my eyes
Without you
I'm the only one I've got left
And I can't live with myself
Without you, oh without you

Time goes by
Still, I'm------

without you
Everytime someone speaks your name
I feel my heart go up in flames
Without you
Nobody's here to see me cry
Or wipe the teardrops from my eyes
Without you
I'm the only one I've got left
And I can't live with myself
Without you

Everytime someone speaks your name
I feel my heart go up in flames
Without you
Nobody's here to see me cry
Or wipe the teardrops from my eyes
Without you
I'm the only one I've got left
And I can't live with myself
Without you, oh without you
Without you, oh without you
"Baby, if you dont wake up, within 10 minutes I'm gonna lose my mind! I cant live my life without you...you ARE my life!! Your my heart and soul. Please, you have to be ok...y...you....you just have too." AJ said, he couldnt take it anymore, he then just broke down.

Chapter 12
AJ just sat there for about 15 minutes, he then decided to phone the guys and give them a heads up. So he decided to use your hospital phone, since you can't use cells in the hospital.
AJ-"Hey Rok its me.."
Brian-"Hey man, where in the hell are you? You took off without even much saying anything to us....is everything ok?" Brian asked in a worried tone.
AJ-"No, *****'s in the hospital. Her ex broke in her house, raped her and beat her.....and can you guys just come down to the hosptial, the emergency floor?" AJ asked sounding extremly depressed.
Brian-"You know they only let family members in to see her...." Brian said trailing off.
AJ-"Lie, but I g2g, I'll see you guys when you get here...bye." AJ said hanging up not letting Brian say anything.
*^At the recording studio^*
B-"Guys, *****'s in the hospital, I'll explain on the way lets go." Brian commanded, the guys grabbed their jackets and followed Brian to go to the hospital.
*^*25 Minutes Later*^*
Leighanne and Kristin met the guys at the enterence and they all ran inside. "Excuse me, we're here to see ***** ~~~~~~~. What room is she in?" Brian asked the Nurse out of breath at the Nurses' station.
Nurse-"Are you family?"
Brian-"Yes we all are." The Nurse gave Brian a funny look.
Kevin-"Me and Brian are her cousins. So is Kristin, my wife and Brian's wife Leighanne. Nick is her brother and Howie is her brother-in-law, her sister is out of town." Kevin said pointing at everybody, trying to sound convincing. And it actually worked.
Nurse-"She's down the hall 3 doors to your left. Her fiancee' is already in there." The Nurse said filing papers. Everyone looked at eachother with funny looks. They brushed them off and ran to your room. Once they reached the door, Nick shushed everyone and they listened to AJ sing.
AJ-"Living on an edge
Out of control
And the world won't
Just let myself down
But in my biggest picture
Was the photo of
You and me
Girl, you know I tried
I work hard to provide
All of the material things
That I thought will
Make you happy
I'm confused
Can you make me understand?
'Cause I tried
To give you
The best of me
I thought we cool
Maybe I was blind
But never took
Time to see

Will you help me?
Tell me
What you want from me
Can you help me?
Tell me
Why you wanna leave?
Baby help me
Without you
My whole world
Is fallin' apart
And I'm going crazy
Life's so crazy when
You're in love for long
(Ooh girl I love you)
I need you to
Come back home
(You know I need you)
I don't want to be alone

Girl, I'll put your love
Up on the shelf
And I guess
I'm just left here to die
Now we're not together
'Cause I hurt you
Too many times
Now you're not around
I wish for every
Moment of time
That got wasted
We used to make sweet love
Baby be my guide
Please take my hand
Want you to know that
I got you if you need it
I don't want to be
On the outside
Looking in
I got have you girl
Can't you see?

Will you help me?
Tell me
What you want from me
Can you help me?
Tell me
Why you wanna leave?
Baby help me
Without you
My whole world
Is fallin' apart
And I'm going crazy
Life's so crazy when
You're in love for long
Ooh girl I love you
I need you to
Come back home
You know I need you
I don't want to be alone
Give me another chance
I want to be your man
Girl you got me down
Here on my knees
Crying, beggin' please
I'll do anything
For your love
Oh

Will you help me?
Tell me
What you want from me
Can you help me?
Tell me
Why you wanna leave?
Baby help me
Without you
My whole world
Is fallin' apart
And I'm going crazy
Life's so crazy when
You're in love for long
Ooh girl I love you
I need you to
Come back home
You know I need you
I don't want to be alone

Can you help me?
Tell me why, why
Why, why, why
Can you help me?
Girl I'll never stop
'Cause you're all I got
Can you help me?
Help me understand
Why I can't be your man
Driving me crazy
Crazy, crazy, crazy
Oh baby, oh oh-oh
Oh girl I love you
Said I love you
You know I need you
Ooh I need you
Can't live without you
I can't go one day
Without you."

After AJ finished singing the group sighed, a pity sigh and walked inside the room, and were disgusted of what Jason has done to you. AJ didn't even turn around, he just spoke, very softly. AJ-"Usher is her favorite singer, I was going to take her to his concert for her birthday. I still will, if she will wake up within a month. 'Can U help me' is her favorite song by him you know." AJ said holding your hand, not even close to letting go. "AJ, man, are you ok?" Howie asked sitting down next to his friend. "Oh yeah, and if she would wake up I'd be better, but she wont wake up anytime soon....I just have the worst feeling..." AJ said squeezing your hand. "AJ she will wake up. I know it." Kristin said with a comforting smile. AJ gave her the gloomiest sadest smile you've ever seen back. "Guys, I just love her so much. If I ever find that Jason guy, I will kill him. I swear to god, you guys be my witnesses, I will kill him." AJ demanded with the most serious, meanest face you could ever imagine. Nick, Howie, Kevin, Brian, Leighanne and Kristin, knew he was'nt lying, when he put his mind to something, he would do it. Bungee jumping, anything! You name it he'd do it, even that.

Chapter 13

A couple days have passed and nothing has really changed. AJ only left once since you've been in the hospital. It was now just you and AJ in your room. The guys were probably sleeping since its 10pm. Howie's cruising for the Lupus thing so he's not in town anymore. But AJ was just sitting next to you, staring. A single tear rolled down his cheek. He looked down, still holding your hand, when he heard something. Like a mumble or sigh or something. "*****?" AJ said as his head popped up. Your eyes popped open. "AJ?"You mumbled a little above a whisper. AJ jumped up and ran to get a doctor. A few seconds later he came back with a Nurse and your Doctor. The Nurse checked your pulse, and heart rate. The doctor changed your bandages. "Mr. McLean, ***** should wake up fully in about 5 minutes. She's now just comming too, talk to her, it seems to help." The Doctor told AJ, they both smiled, then the Nurse and Doctor left. "Hey baby, you feeling ok?" AJ asked. Your eyes opened and you smiled. "Hey Jay, I'm ok, except for my spliting headache." You said. AJ smiled. "You seriously had me worried honey. I havent left your side but only once since you've been here. Everyone's came to see you. Your parents are staying the the motel up the street till you get out of the hospital. I called them for you." AJ said holding your hand. "Thank you hon, I love you AJ." You said with tears in your eyes. "I love you too." AJ said with a HUGE smile on his face. "Do you remember anything that happend...?" AJ asked. You thought for a minute then answered. "*trembling voice*I...I actually remember everything. AJ its horrible! I feel cheap, dirty....I feel soooo sluty. I cant believe he did this to me, again." You finished with tears of pain in your eyes. AJ wanted to cry too, but he had to be strong for you, and he wasent going to cry tears of pain he was going to cry tears of hate, and regret that he wasent there to save you. "Sweetie, a detective came by a couple times, he wanted me to call him when you woke up. Do you want me to do it now?" AJ asked still holding your hand. "I just want to be here with you right now." You said trying to sqeeze AJ's hand. your weak remember? There was a small silence then you asked. "AJ, will you sing to me? That always makes me feel better." You asked. AJ smiled and sang;
First
First time I looked into your eyes
I saw heaven oh heaven in your eyes
Everything I did before you wasn't worth my while

It should've been you all the time
I'll do anything and every thing to please you
You know how much I need you
You're always, always on my mind

You're more than wonderful, more than amazing,
The irreplaceable love of my life
You're so incredible, here in these arms tonight
The irreplaceable love of my life

Always, seems like a reality
Forever don't seem so far away
All I wanna do, all I wanna think, all I wanna beis close to you
Every day is my lucky day

All I wanna do is love you
I place no one above you
I tell you why

You're more than wonderful, more than amazing
The irreplaceable love, love of my life
You're so incredible, here in these arms of mine
The irreplaceable love of my life

Baby you know, you know your my one and only
All I wanna do is be together
Sugar you know, I'll never leave you lonely
In your eyes, in your eyes I see forever

Ooh Ooh

You're more than wonderful, more than amazing
The irreplaceable love of my life
You're so incredible, here in these arms tonight
The irreplaceable love of my life

AJ finished singing you smiled and closed your eyes and fell asleep. She's practically been sleeping for almost a week and she's sleeping again?! AJ thought he smiled at you, he kissed your forehead and then he decided to piss the guys off and wake them up. Whats the point of having friends if you cant piss them off every once in a while?? AJ thought. Well, he's back to himself again! Lets just hope he does'nt find you know who...